“You’re stressed, you should calm down, maybe you should take a break” is a familiar phrase heard by all of us. Stress is anything that causes psychological tension or strain. Any event or thought that leaves you feeling angry, frustrated or exhausted is said to cause stress. Each person experiences stress differently. The reasons why people experience stress may also vary from person to person.
Causes of Stress
The events that happen in our life causes stress. It’s not necessary that the event has to be negative always. These situations that give rise to certain symptoms or signs in our body are called triggers or stressors. How we perceive each trigger or our reaction to each trigger will decide the depth of the stress we experience. Any life altering situation can cause stress. For example:
Handling too many responsibilities at one time
Juggling a lot of roles that define your relationship with a particular place or person. Be it wife-husband, mother-father, sister-brother, office goers, homemakers, entrepreneurs. Each relation requires you to act under a certain boundary. There are tasks to be met,things to be done. At the end of the day, one can feel as if he/she is like the juggler in the circus but instead of a knife or oranges, we have relationships. This can get very overwhelming and exhausting. The physical and the mental tiredness can often result in anger outburst especially in a family setting and sometimes in an organizational setting.
Fear of failure
Human beings are wired to perform. You associate your identity and sense of self worth by the work you do and how well you do it. Healthy fear causes you to achieve excellence, you know you won’t always succeed and it’s okay! Whereas unhealthy fear makes a person self critical and achieve perfectionism. Working outside one’s own comfort zone is scary. What if I don’t do well in my studies? what If I don’t get that promotion? What if people reject me for not being cool enough? What am I doing with my life? Missing out on the latest happenings? Let me only put my achievements out in the public, no one should know I failed, they’ll make fun. I need to do this before a certain time period or else I’m a failure like getting married or having babies. These unending questions cause a great deal of stress.
Demise of a loved one or loss of a relationship
Relationships are built on emotions, warmth and love. Witnessing a relationship end is one of the most heart shattering situations one can ever be in. Be it due to death, divorce or a break up. A relationship doesn’t always have to be romantic so that one can experience intense emotions. Handling a situation such as this can be stressful as you cope up with the loss and also try to restart life without the significant person.
Financial and career instability
Living in a world where bank balances, materialistic possessions talk louder than names or kindness, having a rickety career and finances can cause a lot of worry and stress. Money is important but having to base your entire success on the basis of how much bank balance you have or the career you are in can invite unnecessary stress. So much that it can sometimes stop you from following your dream/passion.
Major life change like marriage, parenthood, change of place
Any lifestyle change can be stressful initially. Being married after being single for a time-period can be stressful. Suddenly there are too many people, rituals, functions, adjustments issues etc. Being single after being in a relationship is also hard, one has to deal with loneliness, no phone calls or messages like before, this sudden silence can be maddening causing anxiety and stress. Parenthood brings in its own challenges, the more the people, the more the opinion. Whom to follow, whom not to follow? The shift in sleep cycles, routines, intake of food can leave a person drained and out of place.
Uncertainty
The desire to have everything figured out, every situation should be under control. Leaves no room for uncertainty but brings in a lot of stress. No matter how much you try, some things will still not be under your control.
Signs of stress
Stress shows up in our body through different signs or symptoms.
Physically it can show up as:
- Headaches
- Dizziness
- High heart rate or chest pain
- High blood pressure
- Stomach issues
- Weak immune system
- Low sex drive
- Sleeplessness
Emotionally it can show up as:
- Anger
- Sadness
- Frustration
- Irritable behaviour
- Low self worth
- Low self esteem
Cognitive symptoms can be such as:
- Overthinking or racing thoughts
- Constant worrying
- Forgetfulness
- Inability to focus
- Difficulty in making decisions
- Negative outlook towards life
Certain unhealthy behaviors
Drinking too much, gambling, overeating or developing an eating disorder, too much internet browsing, shopping compulsively, smoking, doing drugs etc.
Affect of prolonged stress
Stress can be experienced for a short span of time or for longer periods depending on the intensity of the situation and how your body chooses to react to it. Acute, episodic stress are quite common and experienced by all. It can be positive like preparing for an exam or an interview. As well as it can be distressing like a natural disaster or a theft which can cause a heart attack. However chronic stress or prolonged stress can be harmful for the body. It starts to take an emotional toll on the body wherein your body and mind feels exhausted and drained out.
Certain conditions that are influenced by stress are
- Diabetes
- Heart disease
- Hyperthyroidism
- Fertility issues in men and women
- Hair loss
- Ulcers
- Depression
- Low sex drive
- Missed periods
- Insomnia
How to manage stress?
Noticing that your body is stressed out means your body needs attention. Therefore stop and take sometime to refresh and relax.
- Take a break.Go out for a walk, play with a pet or do anything except work.
- Try breathing exercises.Consult a therapist for guided muscular and breathing relaxation techniques.
- Listen to your favorite music.
- Start journaling.Write down what is making you stressed.
- Practice mindfulness.Mind full is a state where our mind is full of things whereas mindfulness is to be aware, conscious about our body and surroundings. To be fully present and not be overwhelmed by what is happening around.
- Talk it out.Talk about what is making your stressed, either with a friend or a counsellor.
- Break down atask. Simplify it into small, easy steps.
- Keep short term goals.Avoid being overwhelmed.
- Take up a hobby.Or restart an old hobby.
How to prevent stress?
Stress is the body’s natural reaction to threat. Some level of stress is good as it helps us achieve our goals. Only when it is prolonged, is when it starts becoming harmful.
The only way to avoid stress is to know that you can’t control everything. You can’t have everything together. Therefore allow your body to take it slow and easy. Give yourself proper breaks to relax and unwind.
- Have a good support system, even if it is a handful of friends or family members. Someone worthwhile who helps you push through difficult times.
- People who practise excellence know that mistakes happen and figure out a learning from them.
- Practise taking and giving healthy criticisms.
- Maintain healthy boundaries, practise saying “no” if a certain task or person is taking up too much of your mental space.
- Keep realistic goals and achieve them.
- Practice self care, exercise, eat mindfully, pray, sleep well
- It is okay to feel stressed out, attend to your body then.
- Start writing a gratitude journal and be thankful for the countless blessings you have and don’t drain your your energy on the few things which you may not have.
- Don’t forget to smile and appreciate yourself.
- Eating a lot of food together can get you choked but eating slowly, savoring the taste , noticing the texture will make you relish the food.
Take it slow even when it comes to life.